Wednesday, 20 May 2015

How we heal

Let's See Where 90 Days takes us.
Day 69, Wednesday

How We Heal

It was Saturday 1:35 PM when I texted Jocelyn
"Found it".
I had arrived for my first visit to Unbridled.
A beautiful ranch with 13 horses and puppies too.

I'm not sure where the healing began.

It may have been the trip to the animal hospital,
the grave for Loved and Adored Monty,
or trying to shovel dirt in the rain.

The healing may have begun in the wind
as I accompanied for the evening feeding of the horses.
It was so cold, so quickly.
Although, I was merely there along side,
the horses knew of my presence
from the moment I drove on to the property.

It may have been the evening of conversation.
Jocelyn's battle with Cancer,
had been made public with her speaches.
We discussed this in much greater detail.
Much of the past was coming up for both of us.

The next morning we went out to the horses.
The greeting from the pasture was so beautiful.
It is not every day I have a horse,
come trotting in my direction, as Lexi did.
There was no need to chase.

What was one, became 3 horses
and before I knew it, I was leading Katie.

If Lexi and Katie were going anywhere,
Fonzie was going along too.

We all spent some time in the round pen.

In the beginning I stayed near the centre.
This was fantastic.
I had gotten so far away from thinking
and was fully being.
The joy of brushing a horse,
communicating with slow movements,
the touch of my hand and a soft voice,
was a gift of closeness.

I did not even need to sit on a horse.

Other horses allowed our, one on one, attention.
A Big Beautiful Black Mare named Fizzy,
with an Amazing Black maine and
Zena, the calmest of them all.

I would brush anyone of them,
that let me.

I did not need to ride.
It never even occurred to me to ask.
Being was enough.

Although it was offered,
I didn't even need to sit on a horse.

When asked about the highlights of my experience,
at first my mind was blank.

I Love it when that happens, tells me how present I'm being.
Fully enjoying the moments versus thinking.

Around 2 PM sitting in my vehicle,
it was time to go home.

I would have never guessed
that a large piece/peace
of my experience,
was still to come.

Almost 33 hours later,
after watching Disney's
"Tinkerbell and the Legend of the NEVERBEAST"
the message was not waiting.

Interesting pick considering it's a children's movie. 

From the movie the words
"I won't see you again,
but you will always be there when I need you."
seemed to heal decades of loss
and I instantly began to bawl.

The emotional release was in my tears,
and I could feel the weight lift out of my body.
Reminded me of how heavy Monty was.

I'm so very grateful for the healing.

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